When Im not harping on about my dogs, I actually do something vaguely more constructive. I go to Flamenco dance lessons. Or Spanish dancing. Anyway, it's a form of dancing that has always appealed to me because of the lack of fluff. No tutus or pirrouettes and pointy toes. It's about shaking tushy with a vengence and showing the floor who's boss by stomping the hell out of it. It's assertive and confident and helps me pretend that I am too.

Anyway, as much as I love the hobby, Im also not very good at it. I am a slow learner and it takes me a long time and a lot of practise and patience to learn new steps. As a result, most people in the various classes only need one lesson, or about an hour a week to absorb new stuff. I need 5. In the past, I would get so despondent seeing the other people catch on so quickly that I'd dread going, it became an embaressing ordeal. So I stopped. This year I decided that in order to get to their level, I'd just have to shake ass a little harder and more frequently. So I attend two classes on Saturday, two on Wednesday and one on Monday.

Okay, now my woe: We have a show coming up, and Im dancing in three different things and Im good at about half of one of them. Im screwed. Im terrified. Last night was the first official rehearsal for one of the dances and I went blank. At rehearsal!! What the hell is going to happen in the actual show??!